I know, I;ve meen AWOL for a while.
Lazyness+laptop going kerflooey. But it seems the comy sitch is fixed for now.
I'll write a more detailed update (most likely a rather inane one, as is to be expexted. DnD seems a likely topic) later, after I slog through my friends page.
I AM SO SORRY!! I FOGOT TO ANNOUNCE APRIL (INTERNATIONALL SPANK YOUR MAID MONTH).+
J-List is My new GOD. Caffinated gum wit no poison!! Cherry blossom flavored Kit-Kat bars!! Russian roulette style bubble gum dispensers with three super sour ones mixed in!! Gum that starts out like cotton candy!! GOTHIC HEARTS CANDY! Caffinated Gum!! Sake hard candy!! Caffinated Black Black gum!! Shigekix had gummy!!
Have I mentioned Black Black caffinated gum yet?
<3 !!! I is am are in lurrrrvvveeee.
On a different note, I ;ve een wondering: If a Dark Elf (Drow) is raised in a Wood Elf society, will it lose it;s sunlight sensitivity? It would undobtably have the same socitall attatude as a wood elf, but would obviously retain the genetics of a Drow. . .. would the skin pigmeting even be affected by a life lived in the open air?
These are important questions folks!
For that matter, what would a high elf raise dby drow be like? Well, besides a bastard. . .
What is WITH fanfiction right now?! I don;t recall ordering a nice healthy bucket of ANGST with my mansex, but apparently theres a speciall going on right now.
It wouldn;t even bother me if it was being used responsably. I have read some incredible work that could be said to be angsty, but it sure as hell had OTHER emotion!!
I swear to god, sometimes I feel like people don;t even know how to write emotion without making it DEPRESSING. Have these people even been in a real relationship?! I mean, is it JUST me or is the fanfiction writing community just SATURATED with fourteen year olds who've never had any romantic stiuation other than an angsty self-hating crush on some far-off idol of some sort!?
And god help those (like me) who read boy sex. Is there just some socitall tought pattern that makes people think that two boys can;t fall in love with out some sort of raging depresson? I mean, yeah, in my personall experience there was some quick saddy sad, but I GOT OVER IT PEOPLE!! I did NOT mope and whine like some over-effeminate vampire who likes it up the down staircase!!
By the way, FUCK Anne Rice. FUCK her anf the donkey wereing eyeliner she rode in on. The amount of purple prose and inaccuracy (even within the books OWN mytholigy for god's sake!!) of vampire abilitys, and the fact that she obviously has NO clue as to the workings of ANY romantic relationship in her books is enough to activate the gag reflex of a fourty-year old Hooker in Amsterdam!! I have friends who could mensy a better peice of art.
Another new trend: Meandering introductions followed by a sudden resolution. Just do us all a favor, and cut it short already. We GET that they both think that the other is more as hetero as Hefner at a bunny rally, and they have the hots for each other. You don't need to spend twenty three brotherfucking pages going over and over that simple fact spiked with masturbating-then-crying scenes (obciously taken from personall experience) and suddenly BAM! They;re humping!! How about this: A basic establisment, hopefully providing backstory, and then (gee, whoda thunk it) some RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT!! And NO suggestive dialouge dosn't REALLY cut it here. Have some REAL STORY. THEN have them screw like horndogs.
Lemme spell it out to all you new and hopefulls. Good people, you know who you are. Just sit back and getsome shits and giggles from this.
There are three methods here: Sex with little to no plot. Setting, characters, screwing. Then, theres a short story utilizing breif backstory exposition and developing feelings ending with sex and a quick aftermath. More filling, more flavor, half the calorys. Then, the long haul: a long story taking time to explore relationship and emotions between the peoples with sex possibly interspaced throuough and a satisfactry conclusion. The thanksgiving dinner (with the indians bonginng some pilgrims in the Bushes) of fanfiction.
NOT SOME BASTARD HALF-ASSED CHERNOBYL BABY OF THE THREE.
Theres a family phrase used to describe this sort of thing: Syphilitic Afterbirth of a Mongolian GangBang.
(Plese note for pronunciation purposes, that the emphasis should be in 'Mongolian', with gangband pronounced sharply and afterbirth snuck in there carefully and with great relish. I recomend starting the sentance with a harsh hissing sound)
Nyeeeerrrrggggghhhh at least now I feel better. Took the edge off, really. *smoking a candy cigarette*
Was it good for you too? Oh. . . really? I hear they have pills for that.
- Aaron (My Asshole Alter-ego)
Okay, you people have left me with no choice. Because obviously no-one thought to tell you. . . .
NOT APPROPRIATE LUBE SUSTITUTES:
Shampoo, soap, and even certain types of lotion all sting like fuck. And if somethign tears, it;s like fucking salt.
Whipped cream. Seriously, thats just gross.
Butter. (Okay, unsalted is perfectly safe, but it's still really gross)
Jelly. Seriously, whats wrong with you people?
Jell-O Okay, fine. If you're THAT desperate go for it. But, really. It;s gonna be sticky ENOUGH when your done, do you really want to add THAT to the mix? (Snarf. IT'S ALIIIVE!)
Peanut Butter. Only comment: Too sticky. Diddn't work.
WORKS BUT SHOULDN'T
Hair Gel. 'nuff said.
So, yesterday was try-outs for Alice in Wonderland.
I wanted to maybe get Mad hatter, but I think I over-did my preformance.
Today they posted up le results, and unless I'm one of the 'To Be Announced' (Catipillar or Exicutioner) I'm not in it.
Oh, well. I might help with props and such.
Trying hard not to be sad. After all, i still might get catipillar! (Tha'd still be nifty)
Well, shucks. It's been forever.
I'm afraid that even though there has been plenty of news and all, but I haven't been updating much becaus emy darling D is in 'Sagewalk' wich is a wierd ass psychiatry outdoorsy thing. Still. Soooo, Most my my avoidance of posting has been caused by a dire need to avoid posting all angsty-like.
I've been writing a lot, mainly due to my lack of creativity outlets due to D being gone. Including a Spike/xander fic written entierly in haiku. Signs of approaching madness? More like madness settling in, really.
Sooo, what else. lesse, i went to the dentests and got teeth drilled without anesthesia becuase i HATE needles, I've gotten into Buffy AND Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go!, and have been filling my Ipod with those and various other vaugely mindless shows. (Avatar, Supernaturall, Drawn Together. . )
Oh, yeah. And i'm mildly obsessed with Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, Red Rescue Team. Whooooo!
so yeah, i got a bad burn on my elbow that seemed to recover fine. the dead skin fell of, and the skin underneath started to scab over. Unfortunately, sometime last night I apparently managved to bend my elbow enough times to RIP it open, and RIP the scab off. FUN!
So right now I'm typing this with my arms in a sort of frankenstine psoture so as to avoid ripping it again. I feel SO much like 2D right now. . .
Alright, so I'm working on some new icons to while away the time, and working on a new GorillazSlash fic, and trying not to balk at the smuty bits. Oh, pooey. I'm sure I could just leave it out, but that seems really cheap, and besides, the only reason i'm balking is because I don't want to sound cliche. whenyou read as many smutfics as i do, you learn wich things are used over and over.
That, plus, there is NO relism in some storys. Now, i know that relism has no place in fanfictions, but there are just some very basic facts to gay sex that people seem to miss out on!!
Like, for one thing, there are just some things that you DO NOT use for lube. some of the best examples of inaapropriate lube stand ins in fics are butter, whipped cream, and ANY kind of shampoo.
Butter is just gross, and the salt in it can irritate if, um, well, things get rough.
Whipped cream sounds good, but isn't very slik really (Its on the same lame levil as water) and goes sour if not cleaned up quickly.
Shampoo?! What are you people thinking?! Do you know whats IN shampoo?! It can sting!! BADLY. and it's kinda just weird. besides, thats what conditioner is for. . .
And thats just a bare example!! yeesh. (One fic used jam. Like, made for toast jam. JUST SAY NO PEOPLE.)
Honestly. I'm just gonna write the Ten comandments for Slash Sex. that will be my next post.
WOW! I've been off like, FOREVER!! Whaddya know!! Theres too much to catch up on in just one post right now. . .
But, this ought to be interesting anyway. It won't be hard to catch up, if mainly in part to having just gotten in sattelite. But still. I hope no-one is gonna hate me for not being on in forever. . . Just summer, it's so buisy-like. . . and then i have recycled youth, a drama thing, and I JUST now recovered from that.
So! i'll now off to get me some new icons, and catch up on some postings. If anyone is mad at me, feel free to vent at me.